When one speaks of homosexuality especially in non-Western countries a common trend seems to be ‘blame the West’. After all, in those countries anything and everything that could go wrong is caused by the West so why should homosexuality be any different?
Ironically enough, in those ‘Western’ nations homosexuality is only just receiving the equality in legislation that it deserves. In 2010, the constitution in Kenya was changing and a referendum was due to take place. You had two camps:
Yes – to referendum
No – to referendum
For those in the ‘Yes’ camp, they acknowledged that it was about time to breathe new life into the constitution that governs the nation and reflected the respect & open-mindedness that Kenya is about.
For those in the ‘No’ camp, they focused on one main thing – homosexuality. The new constitution ‘legalised’ same-sex couples. It was no longer frowned upon in the eyes of the law and this was the one thing they focused on. Never mind that the constitution was about giving every citizen the freedom they require that was previously out of their reach in terms of business, education, lifestyle, etc. The constitution was to be abhorred because it had become too Western. Kenyan principles of life were what the constitution required and none of this so-called Western nonsense that infected the younger generation.
For the first time since I can remember, I saw religious leaders standing side by side. Previously they would be shouting insults (polite ones of course) to each other safe in their religious surroundings but they had finally found a common enemy.
Soon afterwards, cases of homosexuals being dragged and forced into ‘correction’ clinics where they would receive the therapy required became commonplace. Places of refuge for the LBGT community were torched and death threats became imminent.
All of a sudden, Kenya was not the safe haven we desired it to be. To be comfortable in our own skin meant that our loved ones would have to suffer. Why? Because being gay/bisexual/transsexual doesn’t just affect you but also the ones around you. I spoke to a young man about this and he said:
“When I decided to come out, I was filled with bravado because I was finally stepping out into the forefront of a society that condemned anything from wearing the wrong shoes to Church to being seen smoking outside your parent’s compound. But what I failed to consider was how it would affect my family and friends. I thought because my mother and brother knew about my sexual preferences and grew to accept them everyone would be the same. Of course, I expected that the majority would have a problem with it but as long as my immediate family and close friends were on my side what could go wrong? Well as I was about to discover, a lot. My grandfather’s homestead was torched (thankfully he wasn’t at home), my mother’s house was bricked and horrible words were painted on our gates. My friend’s parents found out and they were banned from being my friends. I went from being a popular man to one ostracized from a community I had known for my entire life. Whatever I experienced paled into comparison with what my family went through. My brother’s friends refused to be associated with the gay man’s brother and my mother became the gossip of the town. The people blamed her for my ‘condition’. They claimed that allowing me to watch Western television and dress ‘Western’ caused all this. They went as far as to organise a fundraiser to pay for my ‘treatment’ at a ‘homosexuality corrective clinic’. If I could, I would definitely think twice about coming out because seeing the pain I caused my family is not worth sticking two fingers up to society.”
It shouldn’t have to be this way for anyone. What should have been a great occasion for him, being able to stand tall & proud and be free to love whomever he wants turned into a long-drawn out battle where his family were victimised for loving him without boundaries. After speaking to his mum, all she had to say on the issue was:
“Every whisper behind my back, every shout to my face was worth it. Why should my son have to hide? I love him, plain and simple.”
Plain and simple it should be. Many are bold enough to say that “I don’t mind gay people, they’re just people” but few are able to put their words into action. Homosexuality isn’t a fad and it’s not a fashion statement for the season. It’s a way of life just like any other and it’s about time society woke up and smelt the coffee so to speak.
Take care and fly the rainbow high,
Msenge Ushujaa
